Ich will doch einfach nur geliebt werden. In den Arm genommen werden. Getröstet werden. Ist das alles zu viel verlangt?
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Its weird, you know, I’ve spent the last eight years looking for the one. I’ve used every dating app and gone to every party and they were all dead ends. I thought, okay well, maybe there is no one. Maybe the movies were wrong, no one is meant to be, there is no happy ever after. And so I stopped. I stopped trying to impress people, I stopped going out of my way to get a guy to notice me, I stopped caring what other people thought of me. And then out of nowhere, he appeared. It’s like all it took was for me to find him, was to stop looking. And after everything, when we first met I didn’t want to feel anything for him. I told myself, “this is going to end in heartbreak” and “he’s not going to be the one, no one is”. But God, there’s no way to describe the way he makes me feel. I know what you’re thinking, that he makes me feel butterflies in my stomach and he makes me heart skip a beat. But honestly, being with him feels like peace. You know when it rains really hard, and then right after it stops, the sky is clear and it’s the purest color of blue you’ve ever seen. Everything feels new, clean, fresh. You take a breath, and you can feel it, like really feel it. You feel the world filling your lungs, bringing you to life. That’s how he feels. Like a clear sky after a lifetime of rain.
love finds you // An Excerpt From A Book I’ll Never Write #29 (via thisvastlove)
That’s how it starts. You notice the little things changing, the days seem longer, the nights seem quieter, you’re having more bad days then usual. At first you just brush it off, you come up with excuses. Mercury is in retrograde, we entered a parallel universe, you’re pms-ing, the list goes on. But then when you’re out with all of your friends you notice that you didn’t laugh as hard as you usually do. And when the boy with the bright smile in your math class looks at you, you’re heart doesn’t skip a beat. You know something is changing. You know, but you pretend not to. Because you don’t want to admit that it’s happening to you. Not me, you think, I’m fine. You don’t want to admit that you’re not okay. That you feel like you’re drowning, and every time you come close to the surface you’re just pushed deeper. And so you get up in the morning, you get dressed, and you do everything you can to make sure everyone thinks you’re okay. You make sure no one knows that you stayed up until 2 am last night, staring at the ceiling. You make sure no one knows that you constantly wonder how many of the sleeping pills in the drawer on your nightstand you’d have to take for you to black out. And you keep covering every ounce of pain, of numbness, of loneliness with a smile because you couldn’t stand to be a burden to the people around you. And then when it becomes too much you write some stupid fucking poem like this hoping someone will finally realize that you’re not okay, and you haven’t been for a while.
you don’t have to read in between the lines for this one. (via thisvastlove)
Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.
Albus Dumbledore (via splitterliicht)
tragicmotions